I e-mailed dozens of my subscribers on Thursday, March 15, 2007, at 8:37 a.m., alerting them to last night’s Northampton County Council meeting.
This meeting was covered by the county’s two mainstream newspaers, The Morning Call and The Express-Times.

It was also reported on by the so-called “Lehigh Valley Ramblings” of Nazareth, Pennsylvania, blogger Bernie O’Hare.

Yet none one of these publications reported that a sink hole has opened in the parking lot behind the county-owned Governor Wolf Building.

This is the site where the Easton Parking Authority, despite the crescendo of community concern that rises daily, is  determined to build a single-story bus terminal.

The sheer height of Trans-Bridge, Greyhound, and other interstate buses would dictate a terminal height sufficient to accommodate their entering and departing.
One sign of this concern registers in the sheer number of signatures on petitions of those who are skeptical or out-right oppose the project.

Taxes and user fees would fund the construction, operation, and maintenance of the garage, best described as a whoopie cushion.

Once the bus terminal, or “intermodal,” was completed, Arcadia Properties would then step in and plop down on top of it a five-story parking garage - designing and stitching into place the first fabric of what can best be described as a novelty-store “whoopie cushion.”
Arcadia Properties would then complete garage, which, when sat upon by four stories of chic boutiues and restaurants and above that seven stories of luxury condominiums for the yeppies inhabiting them, befouls Easton’s already hydro-carbon-polluted atmosphere all the way up to Governor George Wolf Building’s clock tower, not only with the hot air emanating from Phil Mitman et al’s mouth but also the noxious fart emanating from their assholes with a blast so loud as to muffle even that of the LANTA and Transbridge buses roaring in and out of the whoopie-cushion parking garage.

“However, LANTA, Transbrdige, Arcadia Properties, the City of Easton, and Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell’s Department of Environmental Protection will be be required to install costly scrubbers, ekther in the Riverwalk complex itself, or in the Governor Wolf Building, in an effort to mitigate the noisom fumes emanating from the tail pipes of buses trundling and roaring in and out of the garage, contributing to the decibel level of the whoopie cushion.

“The Thulin-Langen Novelty Store and its silent partner Lafayette College also sell doggie poop.”