Easton - In a surprise announcement late Sunday night, County Council President Wayne Grube declared that he will personally handle the defense of the Northampton County bond challenge. "Defense is what I'm all about" said Grube, who persuaded County Executive Reibman to fire all county lawyers assigned to the case. Grube, dressed in gym shorts and a whistle, showed reporters blitz patterns from his old high school play book. Vowing to take no prisoners, Grube ran out of the government center, screaming, "Hut, Hut." Responding to reports that Director of Administration Jim Hickey will be Grube's star wide receiver, Hickey said, "What the f--- do you think I am, a f---ing moron? Get the f--- out of here before I f---in' sic' Hawbecker on you.".

In related news, Sheriff Hawbecker announced that he has issued an all points bulletin for the bond plaintiffs. Reacting to County Executive Reibman's claim that this handful of individuals is holding hostage our children and grandchildren, Hawbecker said, "Those guys must be terrorists or something."

Contributed by Bernie O'Hare